In memory of all my ruined panties...

Ladies, how tired of tampons and pads are you?  Tampons were never my thing, but pads were even less my thing so I'm really excited about this new product I started using. It has changed my life (and my periods) in such an incredible way.  In the nearly 15 years that I've had periods I've probably used every single brand of tampons out there and none of them worked for me.  Between being incredibly uncomfortable and basically not stopping any kind of bleeding, I was fed up.  Not to mention the mass murder of all the cute underwear that died at the hands of my menstrual cycle.  I mean, as if we don't already pay an arm and a leg for a box of fucking cotton sticks with a string sewn into it, how much money have we all lost just from ruined underwear alone!? Theres a simple solution though.  One that your wallet, your vagina and your panties will thank you for.  Behold, The Diva Cup

It comes with it's own cute little bag for travel.

It comes with it's own cute little bag for travel.

I know it looks intimidating, I was scared shitless when I took it out of the box. The first thing I said once I saw it was, "how the fuck is that supposed to go in my vagina?!"... But trust me, your vagina will be stoked. Mine was.

You can even measure the contents of your shedding uterus! :D

You can even measure the contents of your shedding uterus! :D

I had a general understanding that tampons were not great for you, my mom taught me about TSS and all that jazz, but I didn't know how truly bad they are for your health and for the environment. I read a story about a model who lost one of her legs as a direct result of tampon use and I had no idea that something like that could happen, so I started to do some research.  I was shocked at what I found out, even more shocked that I wasn't taught any of it in health class when I was in high school. Not only can tampons actually worsen menstrual cramps, they actually pull on the walls of the vaginal canal because they expand from absorbing fluid (but they don't absorb tissue...) which can't be good.  I also found out that the FDA doesn't really regulate the ingredients used to make tampons and pads and that is just terrifying considering the tissue all up inside of us absorbs everything we put up there. Like a super sponge...but a vagina. Some of the things your p*ssy is absorbing from tampons include pesticides, bleach, procymidon and piperonyl butoxide. I had to google what those last two are and lets just say, they're nasty. Tampons actually have cancer causing carcinogens from the bleaching process, and that alone made me throw every box of tampons away while profusely apologizing to my crotch.  Which brings me to my next point.  Where do all these tampons go? I never imagined the idea that feminine hygiene products have a huge environmental footprint. It seems so obvious, but we've been conditioned to rely on these products simply to get through our every day lives that we don't even think about the fact that these products are not biodegradable and therefor create a HUGE amount of waste.  The bleaching process gets dumped into our oceans and the pesticide treatment on the cotton has a negative impact on the quality of our air. This isn't just a reproductive health issue, this is an environmental issue.  Of all the things I read about the tampon industry and production, the most alarming thing I learned was the shocking lack of research done on feminine hygiene products and the long term effects of using them.  It never bothered me that there wasn't an ingredient list on the side of my tampon boxes, because I didn't think there were any. Cotton, string, plastic applicator...what more could there be?  But after everything I've read and reflected upon, there really should be a list on the side of the box. There's a lot of shit you shouldn't be shoving up your hoohaw, and it's all in tampons.  You're putting this up your vagina and letting it sit in your body for hours, don't you deserve to know what you're shoving up there? I think we all do. I think that should be a requirement. But enough about how shitty tampons and pads are, lets get to the good stuff, shall we?

This is the best way to insert it.  I like to imagine I'm shoving a taco up my taco. 

This is the best way to insert it.  I like to imagine I'm shoving a taco up my taco. 

The Diva Cup costs about $30 which seems pricey, but you only have to buy one because it is reusable.  It's made of silicone so all you have to do is wash it between uses! I couldn't believe how many perks there are to using this cup. I'm absolutely thrilled about the switch. It creates a seal on your vaginal walls meaning the blood never touches oxygen so it wont smell (science, man!) and there is no leakage so your panties are safe!  Since it is silicone and there aren't any nasty chemicals in it you don't have to worry about taking it out until you need to empty it because it's full. No risk of cancer, minimizing waste and helping our environment and the well being of our vaginas and the planet? Seems too good to be true, right? WRONG! This thing is a miracle.  I can't even feel it when its in.  It does take some practice, that's the only downside.  theres definitely an adjustment period...pun intended.  The first two cycles I used it were a bit frustrating, but once I got it my life was changed. Things to remember when using it are the fact that you're still at risk for infection if you don't properly clean it before reinserting it. I almost had a panic attack the first time I tried to take it out because since it does create a seal it takes some adjusting taking it out.  It will seem like it's stuck, it's not.  It can't get lost inside of you, don't worry. If you get a little stressed and tense when you're trying to take it out just take a deep breath and relax.  When your body is tense it will be a lot harder to take it out. Relax, man. Thats all there is to it. 

Have I convinced you?  I can't speak highly enough about this cup, you'd think I'm a menstrual cup salesperson. I just really believe in this products ability to change lives and I want to share that with you guys.  If not for your health, do it for your panties. Love your vagina enough to make sure its happy. I know I do. 

-Stilts